Re: Tribes Gather

I've posted the story im workin on here- Tribes Gather, on a website called critiquecircle, where other similar members critique each others' stories and provide feedback.

What i learnt from the feedback of the chapters so far is:

1. i need to show the story unfold, not tell it. So i have to cut out the long parts of exposition and rather disclose them through the actions of the characters.

2. in this way and others, i have to detail my characters better, make them more real, so as to enable the reader to attach himself/herself to them, and thus be better absorbed in the story.

3. some grammar issues need to be sorted out, particularly the use of the comma.

4. useless details or descriptions can be done without.

5. the chapters can be made longer. so far the jump from chapter to chapter (and thus character/semi-plotline to character/semi-plotline has been quick and frequent. although this somewhat maintains the pace and brings the mysteries faster, it does not let the reader set into the story well, and gives him/her much to catch up with.

i was thinking of revising the previous chapters according to the above suggestions, but instead im going to go on with the story, writing NEW chapters accordingly, and i 'll come back to the first seven later...